Pity Party for One

The party is for me. Because I am pitiful. True. At least I feel pitiful.

The first six weeks of orientation have ended. Not necessarily on a good note. I would go into all of the sordid details, but it would be a book. Really. I just want to say that every person has their own breaking point. Mine was about 2 weeks ago.

Now it's time to reflect, rebuild, and grow. And hopefully my preceptor on night shift doesn't lose focus on teaching me about critical care. Sigh.

I think I will go watch some tv, and indulge in some escapism for awhile. And maybe eat the rest of that pint of Ben & Jerry's sitting up in my freezer, calling my name.

Accidents happen to Good people

Not that they don't happen to bad people, either. But in this case, it was a freak accident. Older gentleman, in his 70s, who lead a very active lifestyle and in really good health... strange I know for those that age right? lol. Anyhow, he was at home trimming the trees outside, when a branch that had been cut swung around the wrong way and knocked him off of the ladder onto the ground. About a 20 foot fall. Most people of this generation fall on rugs at home, or in the bathroom, or many other simpler ways. But this man fell from a good height and was taken to the hospital, where he was released with the diagnosis of a concussion.

Later on in the evening, at home, neuro status begins to change. He is slurring his words, barely able to talk, and is having weakness on one side of his body. Wife calls rescue, per instructions, and back to the hospital he goes. One thing inevitably leads to another, and patient is transferred to a higher level trauma center. Intubated. To neurosurgery stat.

A 4" section of the skull is removed to allow for the increased ICP. Body temp is lowered in hopes to preserve brain function. Obviously still intubated, with paralytics on board. Mannitol infusing. Family at bedside. Waiting for any change in condition, whether he makes it or not. It is touch and go for days.

One doctor says this is the best that it is going to get. All previous levels of function will be lost, and this patient will need to go to a nursing home for the rest of his life. Another doctor says that the other doctor is nuts, that there is always hope. ICP has come down now, and paralytics have been weaned. Patient remains intubated. He is able to follow some simple commands, and this gives the family all of the hope in the world. They refuse to believe that this is the best it will get. They have been researching and looking into rehab centers for him to go to soon.

This happened to a family member, and as one who does not live near where they live, we get a lot of second hand information from the wife and children and others who live nearer. As a nurse, it is killing me inside to not know what they might not be telling the family, or perhaps even what they are telling them that they do not understand. I wish I could be there to translate all of the medical information that has been thrust at them over the past week. But I am not able. All I can hope is that they are getting the information, the prognosis, and everything that they need to understand everything that is happening.

It is tough to be on the other side of the fence.

christmas shopping woes

Every year I think that I am going to get started early. Never happens. As of today, I have 0 things bought for Christmas, which is just over 1 week away. Why didn't I start earlier? Why? I do this every year. I know what happens. I guess I am just a procrastinator of the supreme kind.

Now, there is no way I am going to find any of the white/silver psp's. One child wants the white one and one wants the silver one. Now, I could potentially find the white one online, but the silver is to be found.... nowhere. So, can't get one for one child and not the other. I could order the nfl/nba jerseys they want from online, but now will they get here by Christmas? Doubt it. Sigh. (smacks self for waiting).

Not to mention, even going to the store for simple household items is a chore because of all the damn people out there shopping. Waiting in line for at least 30 minutes just to check out. I hate being in large crowds of people, especially the Christmas crowd. It sure does bring out the ugly in people. I've experienced it in the worst possible way.

Now I am going to go wallow in my misery a little more until I find something else to do. Like laundry. :)

Much Ado about Nothing at all.

Well my 2 whole days off have flown by and again, I didn't get too much done around the house. I had to go out to my mother's house and fix their computer. I tried to charge them $50 for technical support, but all I got was a breakfast that you can't even get at the Waldorf (inside joke in the family lol).

My oldest son is very.. lucky.. to be alive. Got the cell phone bill and voila... he sent 775 text messages last month. I hadn't put him on the unlimited plan yet but you bet your ass that next month he will be on it. So he is grounded from his cell phone until then. I would so much rather pay the extra $10 a month than $100. Geez.

My last few days of work have been fairly uneventful. Nothing much to even write about at all really lately. I guess I need to get a real life. 'nuff said.

Pity party of sorts

Now that school is over, nclex is finished... I wonder what I plan to do to occupy my time. Other than cleaning my house, of course. That is never ending, with a teenager and tween and all. These boys can really, really make a mess. Of course, neither of them claim the mess.. so the blame goes to my invisible child... often called, "wasn't me", or "i dunno who did it". i know every family with children also has this invisible child as well, right?

Once upon a time, I used to be really, really good at working with computer graphics. I am not sure if I want to get into that again?? I used to know how to a lot of things that would occupy my free time for hours... but I am so just not interested in that stuff anymore like I once was. I guess I just need to find a new hobby.. hell maybe even a boyfriend after all of these years of being the single mom. I dunno??? Kinda confused. I am sure this is all part of the after-school let down phase that I was told I would go through. Kinda sucks, huh, if you have been through it.

I miss the internet friends that I haven't been too attentive of over the past couple of years. I am sure that a few friendships have just dissipated because of a lack of communication. It was difficult to manage school, work, and the kids as well as maintaining friendships with barely any free time at all for myself. Now I have this time, and well, I just don't seem to have the same things in common with these people anymore. A few I will always be able to talk with, etc, but others.... may as well just delete them from my messengers.

Ok enough poor, pity me stuff.. I must get in the bed so I do not oversleep in the morning. That would be.. well.... BAD. g'nite :)

It just Figures

Go to the youngest's baseball game last night, and the other team had to forfeit as the other team had a couple of members not show up. So, had a thought.... let's go see Spiderman! yeah!! (btw, i really wanna see the movie; first movie i have wanted to go see in a long time). It was sold out - of course! Today, had plans to watch the race... rained out. it's been raining all afternoon here, so expected it. decided to come home from my mother's house because it was... well raining, and we were going to watch the fireworks. So mom calls to tell me that they are setting off the fireworks anyhow?? in the drizzling rain??? see.. it just figures. Guess I am just gonna plan on staying in the house for the rest of the weekend.

BTW - passed my FINAL exam with a 92 and I am now officially have an Associate's Degree in Nursing... YAY me :)