a mini vacation...

census is down and i did not have to work ALL weekend long. i cannot even begin to tell you just exactly how much i needed these days off to recover from lost sleep and whatnot. it was beautiful. really. so did i get to work on the project due at the end of the month? nope. did i review my study notes from the lectures? nope. haven't cracked a book or looked at anything to do with nursing in 3 whole days. i feel like a new person though! i feel like i might actually be able to concentrate in class tomorrow. i am refreshed. renewed. ready to finish out the rest of the semester. i try not to think of next semester when we have med-surg II. i have heard the horror stories. i have heard just exactly how hard it is. i don't want to go back to hard, but i don't have a choice, do i? although i am more comfortable with the knowledge that we get with med-surg. it is more focused upon the stuff we will really see in the hospital. i love ob and i love the newborns, but in my area, there is no hope for a job there. those people just never leave. they stay in that unit for years and years and years. i will have to move if i have ob aspirations. even in the icu, the same goes for in there as well. another unit where people aren't inclined to leave or even transfer out. i will have to move if i plan on having a job in that area. although there is one possibility of a person leaving, i just have to hope that they hold out til may or close to it. but i will probably have to chose the med-surg/tele mixed floor where the unit director wants me to start until they have an icu position open up. i want options! i want to make the decision for myself. i don't want to feel pushed into accepting a position that i might not want. sure i still have several months before this arrives, but they are already discussing it, without me, of course. and still, people ask my opinion, where do i want to work when i graduate? i always answer the same and tell them that i don't know. i don't know what will be open when i do. somewhere in there, they aren't getting the options message. i suppose i just need to lay it out for them and tell them that i don't want to commit yet. that this is a decision i need to make on my own. will they listen? nah. i doubt it. all they see is a potential person to fill that open slot on nights. sigh. i know new grads often have to work nights because days gets the more experienced nurses. i even don't mind working nights. but that is still them making the decision for me. i will figure it out. soon.